"We cannot see what we don't understand. Finally a book about abuse that blazes a path through the complex dynamics of domestic violence and helps the one who is being hurt to look at herself - with compassion and tough love. To be strategic and smart. To choose herself. This fairy tale busting, no-bullshit, no judgement gem of a book brings together the collaborative genius of a brilliant therapist and a courageous survivor of abuse and offers stories, strategies and solutions to one of the most misunderstood and intractable of human predicaments: when a woman loves a man who hurts her. Compelling, insightful and utterly liberating. I wanted to stand and cheer when I finished reading it. This book will save lives". - Joanne Fedler, international best-selling author and women's rights activist "When Loving Him Hurts is a beautiful and poignant reminder that everyone has options". Nadia Bilchik CNN Editorial Producer Ask any woman whether a man has ever hurt her, and the answer in all probability will be a resounding yes. Yet despite women's abuse being one of the most topical and written about subjects today, there are still many myths and preconceptions surrounding the syndrome. Did you know: Most abused women don't heed the signs because they don't know what they are; Most people think abuse is purely physical; Unless a woman has been raped or assaulted she cannot report it; Despite it seeming logical by the concerned outsider, an abused woman usually cannot just up and leave. The responsibility of children, rent and the effects of disempowerment that come with systematic abuse need to be overcome. There is no way to evaluate the cost of abuse to the economy unless it results in litigation such as a restraining orders and most don't. When loving him hurts is a comprehensive selfhelp manual that will appeal to any woman who has ever been psychologically, emotionally, financially or physically hurt by a man.Through penetrating case studies, work sheets and psychological insights, When loving him hurts will help the reader identify and accept her situation of abuse and subsequently empower her to learn the art of the sacred No, reclaiming self-esteem and healing through life-changing, creative expression. It is an invaluable tool, a unique guide written specifically for wounded women, by two women who are all too familiar with the silent and invisible stain of abuse that marks the world we live in.
In When Loving Him Hurts, expert psychologist Sue Hickey takes you on a deep and inner healing journey through the experiences of her long-term client, Philippa Sklaar, who was in three abusive relationships before she understood that the healing had to begin with herself and not the relationship. It contains their combined insights, as well as the stories of women who have walked this long and painful road. Sue Hickey, has run a private counseling practice for almost thirty years during which time she has counseled hundreds of women and couples through reconciliations, divorces and more importantly, journey's of self discovery and self empowerment. She has run support groups for abused women and for women who seek to live a life with more depth and reflection. Philippa Sklaar, an American is a domestic abuse survivor and knows only too well the struggle of why we "don't just leave". It took three abusive marriages (her second was physically abusive) to finally learn that the solution lay with herself. It was too simple an answer to blame the men. She hopes that by sharing her journey she can facilitate the recovery of other women.
