Summer Book For Loni

"David Feist is an exceptional man," says his wife Yulonda, enthusiastically. David is the best thing that ever happened to me, better than Kip on Napoleon Dynamite, even," she relates. "When he beats me at tether ball, I feel so proud of him." "David is so charming," Yulonda coos over her tropical drink. "He is a big, strong, giant-of-a- man." "I think one reason David is a great author is he never loses at Words with Friends," confesses beauty queen Sasha, who lives with the couple in stunning East Tennessee. "It is better than the Kardashians' place around here; I left that dump," she hiccups. "...And those 'Duck Dynasty Robertsons' are too, like, "gunny" for meee-eeee." "Being celebrities is not all that it is cracked up to be. The paparazzi are always looking for that tragic flaw. (For us it is wine and good cheer.)" "I hope the media never finds out about the real us. There is probably something about us we wouldn't want people to know," worries David.